Dispatch from Dun Morogh and Ironforge, with His Majesty, King Magni Bronzebeard!

Greetings, World of WarCraft fans!

King Magni Bronzebeard of Dun Morogh and Ironforge here! Long time, no post!

Well, while the rest of the Planet has been going bonkers, from a wild and crazy election in New York City and in Trenton, New Jersey, to those wild and crazy Yankees winning their 27th World Series Championship (they're partying hearty in City Hall Park in Lower Manhattan even as I type!), here at Blizzard HQ in beautiful, downtown Irvine, California, we've been makin' a few significant changes, most of 'em involving our other main Internet presence, Battle.net. Here's the deal:

If you plan on stayin' with us here in the World, you need to merge your World of WarCraft account into a Battle.net account before Veteran's Day, November 11th, 2009. Afterwards, ya gotta log into the World with a Battle.net username and password, so that we can recognize ya and stuff. Hey, look at it this way: I've had to do this with my Throne Room a good many times in the past, kids; it's a piece of cake, and we all need to worry about periods of adjustment at one time in our lives or another.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, we got our very own Magazine now, too! You don't need to guess what it's called: World of WarCraft --- The Magazine! It's published four times a year, we don't take ads, and every issue is nothin' but 148 pages full of news, art, tall tales, game pointers, events in the Blizzard world --- in short, everything you wanna know, we got it for ya! And you can only get it by subscribing at the website. So do yourself a favor: get off your butt and get started. You can handle it! You know you wanna!

Well, enough of my hairy mouth! Gotta go hop back onto my Throne, where I can sit on my Royal Butt and chill out, the way we Dwarves love to do! Catch ya later, Dwarf-lovin' dudes and dudettes!

Faithfully yours,

Bronzie

Missive #460

Greetings to you all again, Mortals!

Well, here we are at Missive #460 in this, my fabulous Diary of Magecraft --- putting ol' Blackwolf a few steps or so closer to Missive #500! So, I hope you had fun reading King Neptune's comments. Maybe now the Yankees will stop yelling about how they're still the best expletive deleted baseball team in the world, and let this foolish old goat --- that would be me --- go back to sleep!

Meanwhile, as I'm sure most of you know, my Mortal-born alter ego, Master Richard, has had to have a bit of surgery done on his eyelid. Let me tell you the lad survived said surgery, even if little if any anaesthesia was administered to him. The next few weeks and months, however, will have a profound impact on Master Richard's well-being; there may be some interference with one or two of the lad's plans for the month. So I must ask for your indulgence and your patience, even as I assist the boy in administering to his well-being.

And to my fellow Champions of the Imagination:

Thor, Thoth, Ryleh, Bunnyman, Clisto, Merdwin, Raymond --- and yes, you, too, Naked Cowboy: I've not forgotten any of you. You need only know that this foolish old Mage is back in ye olde saddle --- somewhat --- and shall be cooling it for the balance of the winter, until I've had my face properly restored to its former glory. And please, dearest Raymond, update your Royal Bookmarks, for GeoCities lives no more! You may now bug me by visiting DragonmasterNewYork.webs.com!

Well, enough nonsense! There's a lot for me to do --- and hopefully, I can do it before the end of the year! Do let's get on with it!

Master Blackwolf

From His Oceanic Majesty, King Neptune:

Greetings, Surface-dwellers! Neptunus Rex, King of the Oceans here --- and, needless to say, my gloatfest of old is over! No doubt your beloved New York Yankees have granted your every wish, and therefore, as of last night, have secured their sought-after 27th World Championship! Aargh!

As you can pretty much imagine, I have had to adapt my normal Neptunish regalia, trusty trident and all, to reflect the said Championship. Doubtless Blackwolf the Dragonmaster is a happy camper as far as that goes .... oh, waitaminnit, I forgot: the Mage of Talisker is worrying about that young Surface-dweller who purports to be his alter ego. I hear he went in for some sort of fixer-upper on his face, or so Blackwolf said....

Ah, who am I kiddin'? Let's tell the truth here. Even I, King Neptune, found myself cheering those Bronx Bombers on. Who am I, then, to deny that lot their well-earn'd happy ending? All is forgiven, therefore! Bygones are thus declared bygones! Besides, I'm losing enough sleep as it is with expletive deleted Al Gore writing another book about global warming. Could someone please get some people together over at Warner Bros. Studios and do Time Warner Presents the Earth Day Special 2? Next spring would be preferable.

Oh, well... see you guys at the Maine Lobster Festival next August! Either that, or else maybe with my Royal Court in Tampa/St. Petersburg, Florida at Gasparilla in February!

Best of love,

Neptunus Rex, King of the Oceans

Halloween Update

Blarst you, Lordi and fiends! You haven't updated your homepage in months, and I still can't get you mangy Monstericans to fess up and tell everybody what your plans are for Halloween 2009! Luckily, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark has better sense than that, which is why she's going to have not just one Chiller Theatre on her schedule, but TWO of them as well!

The first Chiller Theatre thingie happens nine days hence, at Parsippany, NJ's Hilton Parsippany, where she'll be surrounded by various and sundry icons of fantasy and sci-fi: Mickey Rooney, Patrick Stewart, Peter Fonda, Ann-Margaret, Richard Dreyfuss, Stefanie Powers, Jim Kelly, Ali MacGraw, Linda Blair, Barbara Feldon, Joanna Cassidy, George Lazenby, Dawn Wells, Jon (Bowzer) Bauman, Jenilee Harrison, Davy Jones, Lance Guest, Catherine Mary Stewart --- boy, Elvira's going to have big fun then, say I!

But then, the Mistress of the Dark must race to PIX Plaza, where she'll be hosting the Kwuhleven's Chiller Theatre screening of "The Evil of Frankenstein," from 1964 and the coffins of beloved Hammer Films, Britain's most eeeeeevil horror-moviemaking icons!

Chiller Theatre first aired on WPIX from 1961 to 1978, and was briefly revived from 1980 to 1982. Elvira's hosting of "The Evil of Frankenstein" marks the second year of what is apparently Chiller Theatre's third life, the great and powerful Zacherley having hosted last Halloween's Chiller Theatre screening of "Tarantula!"

As for your humble Dragonmaster, I shall be in on this year's Greenwich Village Halloween Parade, one way or another. First, though, I have to find out whether or not I'll survive this medically-induced coma that these doofus doctors over at Harkness Eye Institute will place Master Richard in upon the morrow. We did some homework using WebMD the other day, and we found out that the huge stye thingie on the lad's face is called a chalazion. The said apothecaries must anaesthetise my Mortal-born alter ego, so that he'll not feel any pain --- they are, after all, going to stab the eye so that the wound can be drained and then fixed, that the wound may yet be healed!

Oh my dear Mortal friends, 'twill be quite a curious 24 hours; I only hope I can once more scribble in this, my Diary of Magecraft, that I might tell ye the tale properly!


Master Blackwolf

Facetime, and Some Thoughts on Medieval Times' Royal Court

Well, Mortals, on Thursday, your humble Dragonmaster returns to Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital's Harkness Eye Institute. I have some extremely unfinished business thither, and I mean to finish it. Alas, I took the liberty this morning of researching WebMD.com; and, based on my findings, it appears that I shall be diagnosed with what they call a chalazion, which may or may not be connected with blepharitis, which is a common problem which causes inflammation of the eyelids. At the very least, which is what I believe will happen in my case, the idea is that they're first going to place me in a medically-induced coma, so that I won't go about screaming "Aaaaaah!!!" and whatnot. There is, I fear, a potential risk of brain damage, which means a good many more of my questions must still be answered; nevertheless, the idea is that they're going to stab the chalazion so that it can then be drained.

Following this, once they've properly brought me out of the coma (again, the potential for possible brain damage may result), the apothecaries --- doctors, in Mortal-tongue --- will very likely prescribe eyedrops and/or eye ointment (be aware, dearests, that I'm betting on the latter). Frankly, I, for one, would prefer to face the lasers of ye Byg Appyl's definitive ocular apothecaries, the Brothers Dello Russo! Besides, 'tis Imus in the Morning who usually talks about them ad nauseum; and, one presumes, they're friends of his, so methinks ye can guess the rest for thyselves!

But for now, and assuming I don't emerge from this unscathed, and believe me, I need to emerge from this unscathed in the worst way, by Merlin's beard, let us speak of some merrier things --- and even merrier Royal People. Like these guys!



Meet His Majesty, King Phillipe, and Their Royal Highnesses, Prince Tristan and Princess Leonore: the Royals of Medival Times Dinner & Tournament! They enjoy life as a typical happy Royal Family, but there's this sort of power struggle going on in the background where Tristan's pretty much the invisible Prince; and unbeknownst to Phillipe and Leonore, one of the six Knights taking part in the Tournament is the main villain of the piece. Boo! Hiss!

Well, whilst we mere Mortals are cheering our favorite Knights, no one is getting the hint that a hostile takeover bid for the Kingdom is in progress. So, at the last minute, Tristan has to free himself, kick ye olde obligatory Knightly butte, and do the dirty work of setting things right himself. Somewhere in the midst of all this, meanwhile, one of Medieval Times' most beloved traditions persists: the choosing by one of the Kknights of a fair maiden from the stands to reign as Queen of Love and Beauty (Waitaminnit! They usually crown a lovely lady with that particular moniker on St. Patrick's Day in Rolla, Missouri, if memory serves me correctly!).

Anyway, once peace and harmony are properly restored to the Kingdom, it's time to get on with the real business of the show: meeting the Royals upclose! Only at Medieval Times will you goodly gentles be able to do anything like that! Do ye doubt me? Behold, then!

Well, kids, if I return out of this a properly ointment'd Dragonmaster, look for me to do the Halloween Parade in about a week or so; I'll be the one with the new trusty staff King Tiberias of Jerusalem crafted for me. I hope ol' Moonstar, the Werewolf of Brooklyn shows up too, else I'll hafta spend the night interacting with my fellow Wizards, or several members of the undead, and/or one or two drag queens, depending on my personal preferences! See ya (I hope!).

Master Blackwolf

The Morning After, and the Chill of the Dawn

Monday loometh anew, dear Mortals --- and, sadly, so does the chill of the coming winter wind. As I write, my nostrils once more drip furiously! I have barely little, if any, strength to blow my nose. (SNORT!!!)

Long point short, kiddos, I am throwing in ye olde towel, and will no longer be making further public appearances until the Halloween Parade. (Drat!)

So why don't we just call it a blog entry for right now, say I! Everyone take your trusty hankie and blow your nose with me! One, two, three:

SNORT! SNORT!! SNORT!!!
SNORT! SNORT!! SNORT!!! SNORT!!!!
SNORT! SNORT!! SNORT!!! SNORT!!!! SNORT!!!!!


Master Blackwolf

Pre-Medieval Festival Thoughts

So here we are, dear Mortals, on the eve of of our Silver Anniversary Medieval Festival @ Fort Tryon Park! And I must tell you, dear friends, this promises to be a stellar event to say the least! When the Festival --- and, I suppose, my Mortal-born alter ego, Master Richard --- were young pups in time of yore --- 'twas Dr. Madeleine Pelner Cosman who didst rule our tiny, free-for-all little Kingdom as its first and most noblest of Monarchs. She would never stop letting us know what would happen next, and she would eagerly chat with her subjects, both young and old.

More recently, the Darmstadt and van Housen families took it 'pon themselves to assume the Royal Duties. Mr. and Mrs. Tom Darmstadt would call themselves Don Tomas and Lady Anne of Sussex (they still do today); whereas Mr. and Mrs. Jacob van Housen would call themselves Henry VIII and Lady Victoria. Sadly, as you and I now know, last year, Edie van Housen passed away; and presently, I am not sure if Jacob is prepared to return for this year's Festival.

Happily, we have two new Monarchs to assume the Festival's unclaim'd Thrones. They are Mr. and Mrs. Walter Smythe, and they come to us from Albany, where Walter works for the New York State Labor Department. As King Tiberias and Queen Sybella of Jerusalem, the Smythes are fantastically elegant, and more, they take their Royal roles very seriously. Which is proper explanation enough for His Majesty's occasional responses to my charming e-mails to him.

And that further reminds me: even as I type, Albany's Cathedral of All Saints is abuzz with the sounds of Royalty, for Konrad and Brenwen are officially taking their Thrones to become King and Queen of the SCA's Eastern Kingdom! When I met Konrad and Brenwen last year, they ruled the East for just one day; now, they are to be King and Queen of the East for real! Huzzah!

Sadly, this will be my next-to-last official public appearance for the year, as I now have absolutely nothing on my schedule between now and the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade! That's where you'll see me taking part in the Children's version, led by the NYU Bagpipe Band and the NYU Violet Wildcats and their Cheerleaders, followed of course by the more ribald Big Halloween Parade, with over 100,000 marchers venting their frustrations, exhibiting their silly stuff and being a tad naughty on occasion. Not too naughty, of course, as the Parade does air LIVE on NY1 (Blarst that wretched George Whipple!).

As for Lordi, your Dragonmaster's Official Rock Band has been a bit sneaky. Seems Mr. Lordi had to do a bit powwowing in Hollywood with a pal of his, to start laying the brickwork, as it were, for the Monstericans' next album, scheduled to come out next year. I've already e-mail'd the Big, Burly Demon re where Team Lordi will be spending their Halloween; I've already kvetched about Elvira, Mistress of the Dark pretty much abandoning the Halloween Parade, to say nothing about yours truly having to go it alone --- again! --- and, oh, I could go on and on and on!

But I'm starting to bore you Mortals to death now, so methinks I'd best shut up. I'll see you lot at Fort Tryon; as ever, may Fortune favor the foolish!

Yours as ever,

Master Blackwolf

Back to the Diary, and Ready 2 Go, Despite a Pre-Medieval Festival Migraine!

Well, Mortals, it's good to finally return to my Diary of Magecraft and blog something interestting, if not entirely twisted! I recently bought some water to stuff down me throat, as I do need it, and I have a migraine like ye wouldn't believe!

In any case, I've had a look at our lineup for our Silver Jubilee Medieval Festival @ Fort Tryon Park (knowing dear Sir Dennis, I would share the view that if it ain't broke, one need not fix it!). Needless to say, all our old friends will be in on the diversion; and unfortunately, that's gonna be it as far as my public appearances go until the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade (Drat!)

As for dearest Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, she intends to do her Halloween thing with a Halloween costume show somewhere in Seattle. And what of your Dragonmaster's Official Rock Band, Lordi? Where shall they be spending their 31st of October? Alas, unable to tell, for the Monstericans have not updated their news segment in months! (I suspect they decided to have the news editor for dinner. Theirs, to be precise.)

Look, kids this wizard gig be not necessarily all it be crack'd up to be! Hence, I'm off to find some Aleve, that I might yet bust me migraine, then I'll guzzle down some more H2O before calling it a day. See ya!

Master Blackwolf